Hey there.
If
you're a little like me, then you too have probably
been
spending your deleterious days thinking ‘oh!’
‘to where on this
good, improbable earth has
the
waspinator-for-president blog disappeared?’
And
you know, you shouldn't feel at all bad for
thinking
that sort of thing. All of us have thought
at
some point or another. It's just part and parcel
of
being human. And as these things go, you,
you,
my reader, you are human, more or less.
This
need you’ve been feeling: it is, you might say,
simply
part of who we are. And as things go, you,
horribly
pathetic, annoying, execrable you,
you
are who you are, human too, more or less.
It's
really okay to feel the kind of deep, abiding,
the
longing horrid need you've been long feeling.
It's
okay, really, to feel that kind of need. I mean,
you
know what, hey, we've all felt needs now and then.
Seriously,
we've all felt needs.
It's
all part of being human, isn't it?
We're
all the same, after all, aren't we?
I
mean, seriously, since the dawn of time,
we've
all had that kind of need, now and again.
Everyone
feels the way you do, sometimes.
So
don't worry. And I mean, I of all people,
and
I just can't be any clearer about this –
of
all people, I do understand all about what it is
that
you've been going through. I do, really.
But
look.
I
mean, yes, of course, we all have needs.
Yes,
sure, we all have some slightly odd,
some
unexplainable feelings from time to time.
And
sometimes, yes, sometimes thoughts can
kind
of sneak up on you without you really planning
to
think them. Sometimes, they sneak up on you
so
surprisingly, in a blinding flash, that it feels like it's
not
even you who definitely thought them (you did).
And
yes, I realise that sometimes those horrible
un-thought
thoughts can be just a bit disturbing,
even
though it's totally not your fault, and never,
never
you doing the thinking of them. I know,
yes,
sometimes they do involve chimpanzees.
But, you
know, just come on. Really, come on.
Look,
honestly, I think what I'm trying to say here,
and
maybe I'm not being quite clear enough,
but
what I'm trying to say here, is that, well,
you
know.
Look,
yes, I get it. I really do. Of all people I get it.
Believe
me, I understand what you're going through.
I
probably understand it better than anyone, because,
frankly,
that's just the sort of wonderful person I am.
I
mean, I can be a pretty understanding human being.
When
you're by yourself, your mind can wander.
When
you're on your own, of course your mind can
wander
a little. It's only natural. And yes, sometimes
it
might wander rather a lot. And that's perfectly
natural
too. And yes, sometimes it wanders so far
that
you find yourself. And you realise, I mean really
really
realise, that you quite like those chimps.
You
realise, I hope you realise, that you’re terrible.
Also:
a reminder to send me the pictures, please.
Notes: This time, Believer, this time.